The Relationship Gauntlet 🛑 | 11 Non-Negotiables to Avoid Heartbreak
- Stonepoint Community Church
- Mar 8
- 4 min read
2 Corinthians 6:14 – "Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?"
Why Relationship Standards Matter
Many believers establish rigorous criteria for business, friendships, and career pursuits—yet surprisingly, when relationships are concerned, they often compromise their standards.
God intentionally created relationships as reflections of His divine love, not pathways to heartache, uncertainty, and spiritual compromise. While popular culture encourages us to "follow our heart," Scripture provides this sobering reminder:
💡 "The heart is deceitful above all things." (Jeremiah 17:9)
Rather than stumbling into destructive relationships, consider these 11 Non-Negotiables—a Relationship Gauntlet designed to safeguard your emotional wellbeing and position you for God's perfect plan
📌 11 Relationship Non-Negotiables
Are They a TRUE BELIEVER?
2 Corinthians 6:14 – "Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers."
Simply identifying as Christian is insufficient. Do they genuinely honor and serve the Lord? Is their faith active and authentic or merely nominal?
🚩 Red Flag: They claim to "believe in God," yet avoid church attendance, prayer, or scriptural guidance.
✅ Green Light: Their faith manifests tangibly—demonstrated through consistent actions, not just affirmations.
Do They SEEK WISE COUNSEL?
Proverbs 21:2 – "Every way of a man is right in his own eyes, but the Lord weighs the heart."
God strategically positions spiritual mentors and family in our lives for guidance. When trusted individuals express concern, their warnings deserve consideration.
🚩 Red Flag: They dismiss constructive feedback and show little regard for spiritual authority or godly advisors.
✅ Green Light: They embrace accountability and actively pursue wise guidance.
Do They HAVE A JOB?
Genesis 2:15 – "The Lord God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it."
God established Adam's purpose before introducing Eve. Diligence is foundational.
🚩 Red Flag: Unemployed, lacks direction, avoids responsibility.
✅ Green Light: They demonstrate financial stability, reliability, and capability to support others.
Do They INITIATE PRAYER?
James 5:16 – "The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results."
If you consistently initiate spiritual practices, this indicates imbalance. Spiritual leadership matters.
🚩 Red Flag: They pray only when prompted or neglect prayer entirely.
✅ Green Light: They prioritize their relationship with God—prayer is integral to their daily routine, not an occasional practice.
Do They WORSHIP GOD?
Psalm 63:4 – "I will praise You as long as I live, and in Your name, I will lift up my hands."
When they remain disengaged during worship, this often reveals deeper spiritual disconnection.
🚩 Red Flag: They dismiss worship with statements like, "That's not really my style."
✅ Green Light: They demonstrate authentic devotion through active worship.
Are They Willing to SHARE THEIR FAITH?
Romans 1:16 – "I am not ashamed of the Gospel."
When someone hesitates to acknowledge their faith publicly, it suggests superficial conviction.
🚩 Red Flag: They avoid evangelism entirely or present a different persona around non-believers.
✅ Green Light: They represent Christ confidently in all contexts.
Are They RESPECTED in Their Circle?
Titus 2:1-2 – "Teach what is appropriate to sound doctrine."
Your social environment significantly shapes your trajectory. Do others hold them in high regard or is their life characterized by conflict?
🚩 Red Flag: They maintain few meaningful relationships or frequently experience interpersonal tensions.
✅ Green Light: They've earned trust, respect, and appreciation from their community.
Do They Have MODESTY OF HEART?
1 Peter 3:3-4 – "Your beauty should not come from outward adornment… but the inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit."
Contemporary social platforms encourage excessive self-promotion, yet true modesty reflects inner character.
🚩 Red Flag: Their social media presence consistently seeks validation through provocative content.
✅ Green Light: They embody humility, dignity, and authentic self-worth.
Do They BEAR GOOD FRUIT?
Matthew 7:16-18 – "By their fruit, you will recognize them."
🚩 Red Flag: Their personal history reveals patterns of chaos, ongoing sin, and poor judgment.
✅ Green Light: Their life consistently demonstrates compassion, integrity, and Christ-centered character.
Are They FINANCIALLY RESPONSIBLE?
Luke 16:10 – "Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much."
Marriage involves shared economic stewardship. Financial irresponsibility inevitably creates relationship strain.
🚩 Red Flag: They struggle with basic financial management, carry excessive debt, or depend financially on others.
✅ Green Light: They demonstrate financial wisdom and forward-thinking resource management.
Can They HANDLE CONFLICT Biblically?
Matthew 18:15 – "If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone."
Differences will naturally arise, but conflict resolution approaches reveal character.
🚩 Red Flag: They respond to disagreements through withdrawal, aggression, or triangulation rather than direct communication.
✅ Green Light: They navigate challenges with emotional intelligence and spiritual maturity.
Conclusion: Don't Ignore the Red Flags
Release the tendency to rationalize incompatibility. Instead, employ these standards as protective filters.
When someone fails to meet these criteria, courageously move forward.
Experiencing God's best requires patience with His divine timing.
Join Us for the Full Series!
If you’re ready to transform your relationships and deepen your understanding of God’s plan, stay tuned for the next few weeks, continuing March 9th at 11:15am, of The Elephant in the Bedroom: ELLIE – An Expose. You’ll gain practical wisdom, biblical truths, and new perspectives on everything from overcoming trauma to building strong, God-centered relationships.
💬 Are you prepared to apply these standards? Share your thoughts below!